Esther at Manor Care Rehab Hospital

Saturday, August 13.  Last day at Kaiser, reading her Northern Californian Jewish Newspaper.  She still needs extra oxygen after 3 weeks at Manor Care.

Sunday, August 14.  With her eldest child Gale, first day at Manor Care.  Gale is devoted to Esther, and has been a big help in her time of need.

Friday, August 19.  With Jean, day six at Manor Care.  Esther has often said that she draws strength from Jean's example of coping with a life-threatening disease. Note the cell phone on Esther's chest. Sometimes you can reach her on that phone number, and sometimes she even makes calls.

Friday, August 19.  Reading Life of Pi the old-fashioned way, with the help of a book holder.  Esther still had a cast on her left arm (subsequently removed), and her right hand was weak too, making it hard for her to turn the pages.  Esther had previous listened to an unabridged version of the book that she downloaded from audible.com, but as often happens, she saw different things in the text when she actually read it.  For one thing, the italicized author's meditations are difficult to render by voice.

Saturday August 20.  On day seven at Manor Care, Esther caught up with the 21st Century by getting a Nook reader from Barnes and Nobles, pre-loaded with Life of Pi.  The Nook is lighter and smaller than a paperback book, and it's also easier to turn the pages, if not exactly as easy.  As of September 4 she's up to p. 301, and when she finishes she can choose between The Amateur Marriage by Anne Tyler, and The Help by Kathryn Stockett (now a major motion picture).  If you have other suggestions about books available in Nook format, please let us know. 

Esther at Kaiser Hospital Walnut Creek, part 3

Wed. Aug 3, in Intensive Care one day after surgery
Esther is doing well, but there are some difficult days ahead.
Her hands are so swollen from amyloidosis that she can't hold a book
to read.  And while we were visiting, a nurse came in to admonish her
that if she didn't do her breathing exercises she was at risk of
developing pneumonia.  He also wanted her to increase her calorie intake,
and Esther promised to apply herself to his instructions.

Esther at Kaiser Hospital, Walnut Creek, part 2

Tue Aug 2, in Intensive Care after the hip operation.
Esther prayed on the way to the operating room to calm
her fears.  Afterwards, she apologized to the nurses for
being crabby before the operation.  They told her she was
fine, which made Esther think they must take classes in lying.

Tue Aug 2, in Intensive Care after the hip operation.
Ever the intellectual, Esther wanted to read, not watch TV.
But the nurses could not find her a prop for the book, and her
hands were to weak to hold it.  So she propped it against the
side of her bed.

Esther at Kaiser Hospital, Walnut Creek, part 1

Esther after arriving at ER, Sun. July 31

She was in severe pain from her left hip and left shoulder.

Esther at ER, Sun. July 31, a little bit later

She felt more comfortable after being seen by a doctor.

Esther, Pearlita, stuffed cat and doll, Mon Aug 1

The stuffed cat was a gift for her kids, the doll was for Esther

As you can see, Esther liked it

Tue, Aug 2, after hip operation: Esther and Jean in Intensive Care.

Esther was alert and in a good mood, only a few hours after the operation.

Tue Aug2, after hip operation.  Esther and Heidi in Intensive Care.
Heidi has worked with Esther since she was in Tiffany Court,
helping her to organize her papers.  Heidi has problems of her own -- like many worthy souls, she was hit hard by the collapse of the housing
market.  But she made time in her difficult life to come and support Esther.



dldld

Lillian's Yarhzeit

Esther's sister Lillian Volovick passed away last summer, and the Picos and the Volovicks gathered at the cemetery on June 12 to unveil the headstone and end their year of mourning.  Rabbi Shanks conducted the service.  The pictures below were taken by Dennis Volovick, the middle child of Lillian's three children.


Rabbi Shanks asked for memories of Lillian from the mourners, and Dennis, Joan (Lillian's youngest child), and Ron (Lillian's son) all obliged.  Esther, whose care was was crucial for Lillian in the last decades of her life, did not share one of her stories, but she sometimes tells an anecdote of her sister as a young woman, which shows a Lillian in a different light for those who only picture her in frail old age.
  
At that time in Philadelphia, young singles would gather at private residences on Saturday nights for dance parties.  Lillian Mick met her future husband Martin Volovick at one such party.  Martin was so smitten by the attractive young Lillian that he wanted to dance every dance with her.  This was a bit awkward though, because Martin had brought a date to the party, and said date looked unkindly on this turn in Martin affections.

Lillian had a solution.  "Escort her home," she told Martin, "then come back and dance with me."  And he did.  And there she was in that shining moment, young, pretty, and so self-possessed she could send away a guy she'd just met, knowing he'd be back to stay.
 
See http://1853woodst.blogspot.com/2010/06/lillians-memorial-service.html for pictures and stories from Lillian's funeral.  Joan brought helium balloons that she released after the service, that we watched float up in the sky and disappear.  It was a beautiful touch, thanks Joan.

Esther, Retired Public Employee

California Highway Patrol, Martinez Office, early 1970s. Esther is 
standing just to the left of the woman holding the bicycle.  
(Click to expand full photo)

If you're still following the economic news three sad years after the sub-prime debacle, you've learned how some feel that the source of America's woes is now identified.  Not housing speculators, or bankers who asked for deregulation and then bailouts.  Supposedly, it's retired public employees, extorting extravagant pensions that will bankrupt governments in the greying decades to come unless drastic measures are taken immediately...first and foremost, denying these villains the right to union representation.
   
Ever on the alert for economic insights, this blog was fortunate to have in Esther a person with firsthand knowledge of these matters.  A retired state worker, she provided us with the picture above (detailed pictures below), showing her with her confederates circa 1970.  Moreover she was willing to discuss her career candidly, describing step-by-step the path she took from public employee to public enemy.
  

CHP photo detail: Esther

How much? From the state? About fifteen hundred.  And about the same from social security.  When I retired in 1992, after working for the state for 25 years, I was making about two thousand a month as a secretary for the Epidemiological Division of the health department.  [If you Google "inflation rate," you'll find many calculators that will tell you how much 2,000 1992 dollars are worth in 2011.  The one at http://146.142.4.24/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl says $3,139.32]
  
What about health care?  I have a $10.00 copay at Kaiser, the same for generic drugs.  Brand name drugs are more.
  
What made you want to start working again?  There were a lot of reasons.  I was divorced with 6 kids, my ex-husband was a good provider, but he had his own business and it wasn't consistent.  And we didn't have a medical plan.  If one of us got sick I don't know what I would have done.  And I felt I needed to do something more with my life. I'd been a housewife for 20 years, and sometimes when I was at home I'd hear the children playing in the schoolyard and think how wonderful it would be to have a place to go outside the house, something to do.

How did you look for work? First I had to prepare myself psychologically.  I tried to encourage my belief in myself, told myself that being a housewife was an important job too, that it required planning and intelligence.  I had worked as a secretary before I got married, so I thought I could dust off those skills.  I had a stenotype machine, and after some looking I found a store that sold paper for it, and started to practice.
  
Why a government job? I thought I'd do well on a test.  And I was right, I did so well I was called for a couple of interviews.  At the Department of Motor Vehicles, the interviewer asked where I'd gone to high school, and I said Girl's High in Philadelphia.  He was impressed -- that was the top academic high school for girls in Philadelphia at the time, and they told us that if we went to Girl's High, we'd never have trouble finding a job. And it turned out they were right, after all those years.  He offered me a part time job as a secretarial assistant, and I accepted. I was delighted to have that job!

Did it live up to your expectations? I liked working at the DMV.  In fact, I liked all my jobs, but it was always good to go on to something better.  And at the DMV, "better" for me meant a full=time job.

How did you find one? There was an opening at the Highway Patrol, and they gave me an interview.  When I reported to work at the DMV after the interview the head of the office said to me "I heard you saw my husband today," and I said to her "What do you MEAN?!"  I thought she was accusing me of having an affair with her husband, but what she meant was that her husband was the one who interviewed me.  She gave me a good reference to her husband, and I got the job.

How was working for the Highway Patrol? The job was different than the DMV, I was meeting the public, talking to people when they came in to inquire about tickets or get an accident report, that sort of thing.  And of course the pay was better because I was working fulltime, but the State of California pays once a month, so I needed to manage the money carefully.
  
How much? I don't remember my salary exactly.  But I do remember that the health benefits were better.  There was no copay at Kaiser, no charge for prescription medicine.

Did you leave the Highway Patrol because you were offered a better job?  Not really.  I was inspired by children, just like when I first started back to work.  When I went up to Chico for Terrye's graduation I was so proud of her, it seemed like such a great achievement for her to get a college degree. And it made me think that I'd like to get a college degree too.  So I started taking night classes at Diablo Valley College [DVC], the local community college].  I made good grades, and when I had accumulated the necessary years of college credits I was accepted into UC Berkeley.

But UC didn't have night classes, and as I said my Highway Patrol job was full-time, during the day, and it was in Martinez, about 30 miles from Berkeley.  So if I wanted to to go to UC I had to find a job that would let me take time off for classes, preferably close to UC.  And I found one, as a secretary for the Health Department, right by the campus.

And that was your last state job? Yes, I worked at the Health Department until I retired.

What was the biggest raise you received in your career? It was when I was made secretary to the head of the Epidemiological Division at the DPH.  Secretaries deal with interpersonal issues, and in that position I had to facilitate interactions between the Division head and the doctors.
  
Give an example of one such interpersonal issue. There was one woman, an accountant, who nobody really liked because she was very bossy.  Also, she was a smoker.  Smoking wasn't allowed at the Health Department, you were supposed to go outside, But she used to close the door to her office and smoke anyway, and everybody knew she was doing it.  One day she came to me and complained that was tired of always having to tell somebody how to do so something. I told her, people are tired of telling you not to smoke in your office.  And she got really mad and went into her office and slammed the door.

Did you ever use a stenotype working for the state? Not at the DMV. People would come in to renew their license, or maybe get their picture taken.  It wasn't like now, where everything is so organized, you go to once place than another, it's like being inside a big machine.  Back then there would be one person helping you with everything, somebody like me.

I did use stenotype years later, when I became secretary to the head of the department.  But I don't think anybody does stenotype and shorthand now, except in court rooms.  AOL has a list of professions that are becoming obsolete, and one of them is secretary.

How did computers change your job? Computers entered my life in the 1980's.  When we were first trained on them I didn't realize how valuable they would be.  Of course there are problems with computers too, but one thing I discovered right away is that they're great for sending letters.

When I started working for the state, we could not send a letter to more than one person without retyping it, and it had to be perfect each time.  I remember once doing a letter, and on the last line I left out a single word.  I had to retype the whole thing!  And then with word processors, you could just send a letter to as many people as you wanted.  What a wonderful invention!  Pretty soon all the new hires had to learn to use word processors.  Different ones, but they were all similar.

Mickey always said it was me who inspired him to use computers.  He came down from Alaska one year, and I showed him the word processor and the printer we were using at work.  He was so impressed that he had to go right out and buy a computer and the same word processing software, and look for a printer that could use the same word processing software.

What kind? I forget exactly, but it was unusual because at the health department we had to write letters with scientific symbols.  Back then that required special software and a special printer, and Mickey had trouble finding one.  Eventually he got frustrated with those problems and abandoned the software I told him about for a different brand.  Now he's much better at doing things online than I am.

What other office machines did you use in your career? The copier of course, and the telephone, taking messages.  But taking telephone messages are probably also becoming obsolete, since there are answering machines now.
  
What else did you do as a secretary? Part of my job was filing.  That's how I earned the respect of the head of the office at the Highway Patrol.  She had a big stack of documents to file on her desk, and I asked if she wanted me to do it.  She said "I don't think so, you don't have enough information," but she let me try. I filed the whole pile, and she was so impressed!  But really, it wasn't that hard to do.  For letters, there were folders in a big file cabinet organized by who got the letter, and who sent it to them, so it was easy to find the right one.

At first with computers we still stored copies of everything in a file cabinet, even the email, so it didn't really save any paper.  At the health department, my first job every morning was to download the messages and print them out.  Then I'd take them to the department head, and he would read them, write out his answers, and give them back to me.  Then I would use email to reply to whoever had sent it, and print out a copy of that.  If there was a lot of going back and forth, I would still print out a copy each time.  This sounds like a a lot of unnecessary work, compared to now when everybody does their own email, and saves copies in folders if it's important.  But back then it was a big advance, it made communication with the head office in Sacramento much easier.

 Esther detail detail: Note the kind, intelligent eyes of this career civil servant

And there you have it, one of the millions of individual stories that led to the unraveling of California's finances.  But in reading her account of her work life, there's obviously another angle besides finances.  As all adults with broad experience in life know, there are many college graduates who never crack a serious book once they get their first serious job.  But this secretary went in the opposite direction, from work to school, getting a degree from a top-ranked university, while on her job she was mastering the revolutions wrought by computer technology.
 
How did she do it? Why did she do it?  We'll find out soon when this blog publishes a follow-up interview: Esther, Insisting on a Life of the Mind.

Glenn, Alicia and Esther

Alicia and her dad Glenn came to visit Esther last Sunday, sharing their latest news in a lively, far-ranging conversation that Esther obviously enjoyed.  This being the 21st century, one of the big topics was computer technology, and we learned that Alicia uses a Sony laptop, Glenn a Lenovo.

Glenn uses his laptop to create PowerPoints for presentations, such as the scholarly/serious talk he gave at the recent Sacramento Valley Community College Math (SVCCM) conference. Titled "Is 0 Equal to Pi Equal to Infinity," Glenn developed mathematical ideas he's been thinking about for some time, illustrated with anecdotes for his experience teaching college math.  If that sounds interesting take note, the next SVCCM conference will be at Sierra College.

On the other hand, Alicia users her laptop mainly for computer games, preferring her desktop when she needs to use Word for homework assignments.

Said homework is Alicia's main complaint about the 7th grade.  She's not against it in principle, but there's just so much of it!  It takes up most of her time between 3:30, when she gets home from school, and 10, when she goes to bed.  And that's a typical schedule those like Alicia who are in her shcool's high achiever program.

But what does she like about school?  The dances, for one thing.  And English is her favorite subject, she's trying to write a book although she hasn't yet finalized the title or the theme.  She's interested in Spanish, but the teacher is really strict.  (Spanish was her only B, her other grades were all As). As for math, she really does NOT like word problem, and thinks exponents are booooring.  But polynomials are tolerable, at least for now.

And what else can she tell us about the 7th grade experience?  There are fights, and some teasing, but nothing that she's been involved it.  The high achiever prograsm kids are treated just like any others in the hallway and the lunch room.

Anything she's especially looking forward to?  Yes, getting her braces off.  She started wearing them of May of last year, and people wear them two hears on average.  Do the math.  She can expect to be lose them about the same time she finishes with 8th grade.

Amyloidosis support group, Feb 20. Conversation

Esther demonstrating stress reduction technique
she learned at her support group.  See bottom
for pictures of Esther doing other exercises.

There were a lot of people at the support group yesterday [Saturday, Feb. 19], maybe 40.  Dr. Kevin spoke, he's a Kaiser doctor who's had a heart transplant because he had amyloidosis. (Last name?)  I don't even know that, everybody just calls him Kevin.  He's in his late 40s, early 50s, and he still puts in 8 hour days at Kaiser.  But he no longer heads his department.  (What department?) He never said.

Kevin told us that amyloidosis causes the body to accumulate too much protein.  Usually, pieces of protein in your body come together in a curved shape, and your body is able to eliminate them. But with amyloidosis, they come together in a flat shape, so your body can't eliminate them, and they attach to one organ or another of your body.  And that means amyloidosis isn't just one disease, it affects different parts of the body differently.
  
With him it was the heart, but he's not going to go through another transplant, if this one doesn't work, that's it.  Kevin and his wife went to Paris recently. but he really isn't well.  But his approach is that he's going to everything he can, while he can.

With me they knew right away I had amyloidosis after I had that problem with my knee.  But most people say the doctors took a long time to diagnose them with amyloidosis, maybe a year, going from one doctor to another.  One man was there for his wife, who has amyloidosis in her throat, so it was hard for her to swallow food.  She went for a year and a half before they knew what was the matter with her, and they could settle on a treatment.

Some people are treated by chemo, like me, and some get stem cells.  Kevin said he had bad reaction from his chemo, so he stopped, it just took too much out of him.  But I'm not eligible for stem cells, that's why I'm on chemo. (Prognosis?)  My doctor says he doesn't know right now.

They asked if I was still planning on going to Israel, and I said the wedding had been postponed until May, and it might be postponed again until August.  Now that I'm back on the injections, August might be better for me.  Whether it's May or August, I'll need to have somebody on the plane with me.
  
(Injections?) My hemoglobin went down to 9, it was 10 before, and everything else was higher or lower than it should be.  When they gave you your results, they show you the normal range, so you can see if your scores are OK.  Maybe I'll be better now since just finished my chemo week.

In the end, a woman gave a talk on relaxation, and taught us a technique She was so good that almost everybody fell asleep. Some people have trouble falling asleep at night, but not me.  My hands wake me up sometimes when they hurt, but I never have trouble falling asleep in my chair.

(The technique?)  If you're stressed, rub the tips of your thumb and index finger together until you feel like you're calming down.  While I do that, I try to withdraw from what it is that's bothering me.  [Helpful?] For me, yes.  Another helpful thing is to prepare carefully for what I need to do.  Like when I go to bed at night, I check that everything is like it should be, because it's hard for me to get up again.  It's better to prepare than to repair.


Pictures of Esther doing other hand/arm exercises, to which she attributes diminished pain in her hands.

Esther discusses public finances and the state of public education

We talked about money at the current events group.  We started off with the problems in Wisconsin.  Richard [the moderator] said the same problems were going on in California.

Jerry Brown was proposing a 50/50 solution, half of the budget shortfall made up by cuts in services, the other half by something else, I think it's tax hikes.  Supposedly it's because retirement costs are out of control, state workers retiring with big benefits, some getting more than when they were working.

But nobody was happy about cutting services, or the cuts to higher education.  Tuition has gone up so much.  There wasn't much contention, but everybody was talking about the difference between then and now.

Richard said that when he went to Cal Berkeley, tuition was $50 per quarter.  Reagan raised it to $70 per quarter, and everybody complained, but then the next year it was $80.  When I went, when Brown was governor the first time, I could pay for my tuition on my secretary's salary.  But now kids carry huge debts when they graduate.

Another thing that's different from Richard's time is how Cal gets its money.  When Richard went, they didn't have to solicit money, they were a public university.  But now the alumni gets calls all the time, and even so, most of their money comes from tuition.  Or from the corporations that fund their research.  Funny thing is, they never call me.  But I get calls from the library asking for contributions.

We talked about endowments too.  Some college have huge endowments that pay for most scholarships, like Harvard. Harvard hired 3 men to handle their endowment fund, then fired them because they were too arrogant, and hired a woman instead.  Then the endowments were halved, so they fired her too.

And we talked about elementary school.

Richard said they back in his day, Catholics went to the parochial schools, Protestants went to private schools, and the Jews went to the public schools.  When I went to school in Philadelphia, it was really a mixture, blacks, white, Jews, Catholics.  Maybe because it was a slum neighborhood.

But I think I was lucky, I learned early in life to get along with many different kind of people.  Don't remember too many black kids when you were going to elementary school in Walnut Creek.  Were there Indians from the reservation in the school when we lived in Banning?  [Don't remember]

Things change.  When I first went to the swimming pool in Walnut Creek, I would wonder what my mother would say if she saw the scant bathing suits.  Now bikinis are nothing.  I remember the first time I saw somebody in stretch pants, it looked like she was wearing underwear in public, and I was shocked. Then I thought "Now I'm my mother."

Of course I don't get out so much, so I don't see so much.  I'm housebound now, hope to get out more come summer time.

Going to the amyloidosis support group tomorrow, a woman there's going to to talk about dealing with Cancer through imagery.  I'll tell you all about it, promise.

A break in the weather

We're spoiled in Northern California, one week of unseasonal cold and rain and you'd guess much of the adult population is confiding notions of cosmic persecution to their indulgent therapists.  It must seem ridiculous to complain, especially on the net when you might be talking to people who are dealing with, you know, like blizzards.  But we couldn't help ourselves, we felt forsaken in last week's mid-February cold snap, after fruit trees had already started blossoming, and then suddenly we couldn't go outside without wearing serious coats and carrying umbrellas.


And then just as suddenly, last Sunday, the siege lifted.  And behold, our suffering might even had had a purpose.  There was Mt. Diablo, dusted with snow, a sight that might come around every decade or so.  And the hills were a vivid green, an ephemeral, but almost painfully beautiful state they achieve for a few weeks in a non-drought year.


Time to get out ye olde cell phone and take some pix...

Gale and Esther out for walk, 
blossoms in background

Looking up towards the Esther's house

Oak tree out back of Esther's house

Hills as seen from Esther's living room

Woodland creature in Esther's backyard.

And there's the proof, Mt. Diablo really 
did get  some snow! Proof positive 
snapped just before 
the Ygnacio off-ramp on 680.

Conversation with Esther Saturday, February 12

Esther took some time Saturday to discuss the Egypt crisis, Chinese vs. Jewish mothers, and some of her health issues.


What did you talk about at the current events group?

The funny thing was, they barely mentioned Egypt.  It seemed like Mubarak's resignation settled everything.  There was a little talk about that place he went to [Sharm el-Sheikh] and how long he would stay, but that was it.

The main topic was something Richard read, about a Chinese mother who said she didn't allow her children to watch television, or anything like that.  She made them spend all their time was spent on schoolwork.  So we talked about Jewish mothers, how they treated their children and stressed education.

I said there was a mother in Lafayette who said you could emphasize education too much and was cause emotional problems in children.  Someone else said that in China, kids focused so much on passing the college eligibility test when they were in high school, that when they got to college afterwards they were ready to have a good time, and they just floated through.


Is that a good system?

Most of the people in our group felt it was not a good way to do it, it was better not to make one test so important.  Life is more than just the two covers of a book, more than education.  That type of thing can produce troubled children.

One man said his mother always told him that if he studied, concentrated in education, he would be a mensch.  He wasn't sure what a mensch was, but he did what she said.  And he became a lawyer, his area was international law, involved in some important decisions.  Now he's happy his mom stressed education.

One thing to keep in mind was that everyone there was a parent.  Nobody wanted to confess that they hadn't done well.

How do American and Chinese college students compare, academically?

American students are not studying enough. There's too much emphasis on athletic competition.  In college, American students had to study harder.

But you know, somewhere I read that a man my age said "I'm sorry for every pleasure I denied myself."  We work, we study, but a lot of it is luck.  Life carries in the direction we're meant to go.
  
And I've got a problem myself.  My hands are really hurting when I walk with the walker, because I put my weight on them. Now I know whether to walk, and help my legs, or sit and help my hands.  Maybe I'll do compromise, I'll do 10 laps instead of 15, and do hand exercises.  [A lap is a round trip from her bathroom to the piano room, about 50 ft.]

My chemo starts on Monday, but I forgot to order my chemo medication.  Now I'm waiting for call from pharmacy, so I better say good-bye.

Conversation with Esther Sunday, February 6

Picture of the Week #1
Gale & Esther
In front of Esther's house after walking
to the end of Hillview Drive and back.

Picture of the Week #2
Gale & Esther
Just after taking picture #1, in front
of the house where the Graham's lived.

There's been another a big improvement in Gale.  I've been saying that a lot recently.  Now she's willing to go places by herself, she wouldn't do that before.  She just needs to know how to get there.  The other day she was saying she wanted to go to the library, and we talked about who could take her.  And then she said that's OK, I can just take BART.


Did you know Mr. Graham died, our neighbor across the street since we lived in this house.  His son was down from Oregon, and came over to tell me the news.  That was kind of him, he's a nice boy.  He works as a printer, and has three children of his own.


I really enjoy my Saturday visitor Denise.  At first it didn't seem like we'd have much to talk about, but it turns out we do.  It's funny how life turns out, Denise's daughter ended up working in a prison, processing new inmates, after studying something completely different in college.  And she's happy with what she does, she tells everyone about her work.  When she got married, Denise made a photo album of the wedding, and then realized all the pictures were of her family, none of the groom's.  She didn't want to show that version to her new son-in-law because she thought it would offend him.  So she moved some pictures around, added others, and now she has two versions to offer -- but her own son doesn't want either one!  When he was little, he'd always complain that none of the family pictures showed him alone with his parents, they all featured his big sister.  So maybe he felt like he was being ignored again.


Before you came over I was reading on AOL about Egypt.  Now Obama is saying he doesn't want Mubarak to resign, he wants them to take things slowly until the Vice-President can take over.


What were the highlights of my week?  I can think of a few.  First off, I saw a woodpecker on the tree outside my window, with his little red hat.  Imagine, someone from the slums of Philadelphia getting excited by seeing a bird.


Another highlight was seeing Dennis and Ginny when they came up to visit their daughter Becky.  Becky's husband is remodeling their house, so they have no kitchen now, and no bedroom floor.  Dennis and Ginny's daughter in Texas is getting married, and they're going to the wedding.  But they're going to take their time and do some sightseeing on the way down.


And of course there's skipping my blood test this week because my blood counts are so good. That's definitely a highlight.


One thing that wasn't a highlight was the TV.  I turned it on, but the shows were so dull.  Maybe someone who reads the blog can recommend something.  Althogh actually, I'm more interested in books than the TV, please tell me if you've read anything good.

Conversations with Esther January 27 - January 31

Thursday, January 27

Pearlita insisted on taking me to the beauty parlor yesterday.  I guess she thought I wasn't looking like like my usual glamorous self.  She really takes good care of me.  Then in the evening I had a veggie hamburger, and she put me in bed early.  My schedule is different with Mickey up in Alaska.
 
Saturday, January 29

I got wonderful, wonderful news today.  For the 2nd week in a row, Kaiser told me I wouldn't need my injection.  And I'd been thinking I'd need that injection every week for the rest of my life!  Of course, it's kind of sad to think I won't be seeing those people again, the ones who gave me my shot, but I can always say hello when I run into them in the hallway.
 
Monday, January 31

Got up late this morning.  With Mickey up in Alaska, I have a motivation for getting up early.  If I don't do it, I won't be able to catch the Link bus to go to the current events group next Friday.  And I really want to go.  After you left yesterday, I was reading on AOL about Egypt.  They said it was more about lack of services than it was a political upheaval.  People were upset because they didn't have clean water, because their garbage wasn't getting picked up.  But in the paper it says the Egyptians want to change their government.  It's probably a combination of both.

Interview with Mickey and Esther

How long was this stay in California?


Mickey: Been here more often than not since September, for 6 weeks the very last time. In September I was worried about mom, she didn't seem to want to do as much for herself as she had at the start of the summer.  Then she'd more active, when we went to Costco together she'd always want to ride around on the electric scooter.  And She didn't have the same sense of humor she'd had before.


Things stayed like that pretty much through November. Mom would say things like "You don't care about me, I'm not first on your list."  Once I went out and came back at 11 at night, and she asked me where I'd been, asking in a way that told me I was on the outs.  It felt like I was a teenager an she'd put me on restriction.


But the last few weeks there's been a complete flip-flop. For example, now she wants to go for walks with me and Mia.


Esther: It's nice to have Mia around.  


Yesterday I took my power chair into the piano room, then walked back into the living room entirely by myself.  I mean entirely, without my walker, without anybody following me to make sure I was OK. That's a big change in me, wanting to do stuff, and being confident enough to try it.  I could even do without Heidi, Gale and I could handle the mail.  But I don't want to let her go when she's having such hard times.


Another change is that I'm learning to accept thing as they are. For example, I've accepted that Mickey left his job at Costco, and it's up to decide what comes next.  Maybe he'll go back to Costco, or maybe he'll do volunteer work or develop a hobby.


What accounts for the change?


Esther: Maybe it's just that my blood counts are better, my hemoglobin and the rest of it.


Mickey: Talking to Jodi helped too.  That's the counselor we've been seeing together on and off for about three years.


Esther: One morning Mickey got upset with me.  I told him I'd had a bad night, that my hands were hurting, and he said "why didn't you wake me up?!"  I said I didn't want to disturb you, and he said that's what he's here for.  He made me promise to call him if it happened again, and once I did.


Mickey: She's more willing to ask for help, but she needs to do it less and less.


Esther: In the evening, Mickey takes a nap after Pearlita leaves, and we've gotten into the habit of talking or watching a movie when he wakes up.  That's often our best time together.  Last night we watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."


Mickey: I liked that movie, there was a lot of life in it.


What was the best part of the stay for you?


Mickey: It was good for Mia.


Esther: You see, that's what annoys me about Mickey, he never says what's good for him, always for somebody else.


Mickey: The best thing was being a helper to my mom.  Significant others come and go, but parents and children are forever.  


How did you enjoy the current events group?


Mickey: I like Richard the moderator.  That guy David says the same stuff over and over again.  He's not Jewish, and another woman in the group wanted to kick him out.


Esther: He may not be Jewish, but he has a Jewish attitude.  I think Mickey likes the exchange of ideas, the disagreements.  I like the way Richard handles himself, the way he can dip in into his fund of knowledge to answer question.  I've also become more aware of the way different generations look at things.  My generation was shaped by hard times, people were out on the street.  I wonder how today's college grads will feel in 10 years.


Mickey: People in the group are very concerned about social security, medicare, Kaiser coverage.  I'm not that worried.


Esther: We're more worried than the younger generation.


Mickey: You went though hard times, but more was available after the war.


Esther: Now it might not help much, having another war.  We already have two.


Mickey: One thing that bothered me about the group was when they talked about the Arizona shooting.  Some of them thought they should put people away if the seemed like the might be potential trouble makers But that could mean jail for a lot of gentle souls?


When will you be coming back?


Mickey: Between the 10th and the 14th, for an indefinite stay.  My goals will be to help mom, and get a job. Might be going back to Costco.  I hope Sasha will be able to come down here for visits.


Esther: My goals are to be more independent, to do more on the computer.  To free Mickey to get a job, if that's what he want.  Or maybe he'll want a volunteer job instead, or to develop a hobby.


Mickey: It's not so much that mom needs somebody here to do for her, but she needs somebody to reassure her in case something happens.  Like the other day, she went to set down on her massage chair, and he accidentally sat down on the controls.  She was very upset until I came in and figured out what had happened.


Esther: I enjoy having somebody to talk to.  And one more thing.  I've been very, very happy to see the big change in Gale.  If she continues to work for me she'll do more and more, even though she may never be able to give me a shower.  Now she fixes my lunch, and can help me in the bathroom.  I'll still need her to wash the dishes and clean the house, but her work won't be cleaning so much as taking care of me.

Conversation with Terrye, Sunday January 16

[Terrye, like Eta, is involved in show biz.  She's working on an English language technical manual for a company that manages some aspect of TV networks, like CNN or Fox News.  And like Eta, she's a rush of verbal energy.  She saw us online around midnight her time and decided to Skype us.]


"I'm fine, baruch ha'shem.  There been a terrible flu going around, but I've been OK.  And we've had a little rain recently, which is especially welcome after that big fire.  It's not so much as tinderbox as it was before."


"Eta and Gidon are living in Sde Bar, about 5 minutes from Tekoah.  Sde Bar means "wild field" in Hebrew, and it's a place for boys from troubled backgrounds. Gidon works there as kind of a handyman and engineer, occasionally even setting up factories.  He also has a home renovation business, and hasn't had time to pursue formal studies in engineering.  Gidon is always busy, always going things, it's one of the traits he and Eta share."


"Eta has already done a few films, and loves her studies.  She was commuting by train from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv, and then about a month ago there was a fire on one of the passenger cars.  Some soldiers shot out the windows so that the people could escape.  However, it turned out that a third of all the railway cars in Israel were defective, so they had to shut down all but the most essential lines."


"Since then, Eta has had to do her commute by bus.  At first it was terrible, the buses were always caught in traffic jams.  But then they added car pool lanes, and now it's even faster than the train was."


"Eta is on scholarship, and one of the requirements is that she choose a volunteer work assignment from an approved list.  This year she chose a home for severely retarded children and adults.  Eta does office work, sometimes organizes 'soccer' games (they may not follow all the rules, but they have fun kicking the ball). It's OK, but she doesn't like working with adults as much as children.  Last year she had a great volunteer job, working at an after school program for disadvantaged grade school children.  That program wasn't on the approved list for her scholarship, but next year Eta hopes do do something similar, doing volunteer work with troubled teenagers."