Thursday, January 27
Pearlita insisted on taking me to the beauty parlor yesterday. I guess she thought I wasn't looking like like my usual glamorous self. She really takes good care of me. Then in the evening I had a veggie hamburger, and she put me in bed early. My schedule is different with Mickey up in Alaska.
Saturday, January 29
I got wonderful, wonderful news today. For the 2nd week in a row, Kaiser told me I wouldn't need my injection. And I'd been thinking I'd need that injection every week for the rest of my life! Of course, it's kind of sad to think I won't be seeing those people again, the ones who gave me my shot, but I can always say hello when I run into them in the hallway.
Monday, January 31
Got up late this morning. With Mickey up in Alaska, I have a motivation for getting up early. If I don't do it, I won't be able to catch the Link bus to go to the current events group next Friday. And I really want to go. After you left yesterday, I was reading on AOL about Egypt. They said it was more about lack of services than it was a political upheaval. People were upset because they didn't have clean water, because their garbage wasn't getting picked up. But in the paper it says the Egyptians want to change their government. It's probably a combination of both.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Interview with Mickey and Esther
How long was this stay in California?
Mickey: Been here more often than not since September, for 6 weeks the very last time. In September I was worried about mom, she didn't seem to want to do as much for herself as she had at the start of the summer. Then she'd more active, when we went to Costco together she'd always want to ride around on the electric scooter. And She didn't have the same sense of humor she'd had before.
Things stayed like that pretty much through November. Mom would say things like "You don't care about me, I'm not first on your list." Once I went out and came back at 11 at night, and she asked me where I'd been, asking in a way that told me I was on the outs. It felt like I was a teenager an she'd put me on restriction.
But the last few weeks there's been a complete flip-flop. For example, now she wants to go for walks with me and Mia.
Esther: It's nice to have Mia around.
Yesterday I took my power chair into the piano room, then walked back into the living room entirely by myself. I mean entirely, without my walker, without anybody following me to make sure I was OK. That's a big change in me, wanting to do stuff, and being confident enough to try it. I could even do without Heidi, Gale and I could handle the mail. But I don't want to let her go when she's having such hard times.
Another change is that I'm learning to accept thing as they are. For example, I've accepted that Mickey left his job at Costco, and it's up to decide what comes next. Maybe he'll go back to Costco, or maybe he'll do volunteer work or develop a hobby.
What accounts for the change?
Esther: Maybe it's just that my blood counts are better, my hemoglobin and the rest of it.
Mickey: Talking to Jodi helped too. That's the counselor we've been seeing together on and off for about three years.
Esther: One morning Mickey got upset with me. I told him I'd had a bad night, that my hands were hurting, and he said "why didn't you wake me up?!" I said I didn't want to disturb you, and he said that's what he's here for. He made me promise to call him if it happened again, and once I did.
Mickey: She's more willing to ask for help, but she needs to do it less and less.
Esther: In the evening, Mickey takes a nap after Pearlita leaves, and we've gotten into the habit of talking or watching a movie when he wakes up. That's often our best time together. Last night we watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."
Mickey: I liked that movie, there was a lot of life in it.
What was the best part of the stay for you?
Mickey: It was good for Mia.
Esther: You see, that's what annoys me about Mickey, he never says what's good for him, always for somebody else.
Mickey: The best thing was being a helper to my mom. Significant others come and go, but parents and children are forever.
How did you enjoy the current events group?
Mickey: I like Richard the moderator. That guy David says the same stuff over and over again. He's not Jewish, and another woman in the group wanted to kick him out.
Esther: He may not be Jewish, but he has a Jewish attitude. I think Mickey likes the exchange of ideas, the disagreements. I like the way Richard handles himself, the way he can dip in into his fund of knowledge to answer question. I've also become more aware of the way different generations look at things. My generation was shaped by hard times, people were out on the street. I wonder how today's college grads will feel in 10 years.
Mickey: People in the group are very concerned about social security, medicare, Kaiser coverage. I'm not that worried.
Esther: We're more worried than the younger generation.
Mickey: You went though hard times, but more was available after the war.
Esther: Now it might not help much, having another war. We already have two.
Mickey: One thing that bothered me about the group was when they talked about the Arizona shooting. Some of them thought they should put people away if the seemed like the might be potential trouble makers But that could mean jail for a lot of gentle souls?
When will you be coming back?
Mickey: Between the 10th and the 14th, for an indefinite stay. My goals will be to help mom, and get a job. Might be going back to Costco. I hope Sasha will be able to come down here for visits.
Esther: My goals are to be more independent, to do more on the computer. To free Mickey to get a job, if that's what he want. Or maybe he'll want a volunteer job instead, or to develop a hobby.
Mickey: It's not so much that mom needs somebody here to do for her, but she needs somebody to reassure her in case something happens. Like the other day, she went to set down on her massage chair, and he accidentally sat down on the controls. She was very upset until I came in and figured out what had happened.
Esther: I enjoy having somebody to talk to. And one more thing. I've been very, very happy to see the big change in Gale. If she continues to work for me she'll do more and more, even though she may never be able to give me a shower. Now she fixes my lunch, and can help me in the bathroom. I'll still need her to wash the dishes and clean the house, but her work won't be cleaning so much as taking care of me.
Mickey: Been here more often than not since September, for 6 weeks the very last time. In September I was worried about mom, she didn't seem to want to do as much for herself as she had at the start of the summer. Then she'd more active, when we went to Costco together she'd always want to ride around on the electric scooter. And She didn't have the same sense of humor she'd had before.
Things stayed like that pretty much through November. Mom would say things like "You don't care about me, I'm not first on your list." Once I went out and came back at 11 at night, and she asked me where I'd been, asking in a way that told me I was on the outs. It felt like I was a teenager an she'd put me on restriction.
But the last few weeks there's been a complete flip-flop. For example, now she wants to go for walks with me and Mia.
Esther: It's nice to have Mia around.
Yesterday I took my power chair into the piano room, then walked back into the living room entirely by myself. I mean entirely, without my walker, without anybody following me to make sure I was OK. That's a big change in me, wanting to do stuff, and being confident enough to try it. I could even do without Heidi, Gale and I could handle the mail. But I don't want to let her go when she's having such hard times.
Another change is that I'm learning to accept thing as they are. For example, I've accepted that Mickey left his job at Costco, and it's up to decide what comes next. Maybe he'll go back to Costco, or maybe he'll do volunteer work or develop a hobby.
What accounts for the change?
Esther: Maybe it's just that my blood counts are better, my hemoglobin and the rest of it.
Mickey: Talking to Jodi helped too. That's the counselor we've been seeing together on and off for about three years.
Esther: One morning Mickey got upset with me. I told him I'd had a bad night, that my hands were hurting, and he said "why didn't you wake me up?!" I said I didn't want to disturb you, and he said that's what he's here for. He made me promise to call him if it happened again, and once I did.
Mickey: She's more willing to ask for help, but she needs to do it less and less.
Esther: In the evening, Mickey takes a nap after Pearlita leaves, and we've gotten into the habit of talking or watching a movie when he wakes up. That's often our best time together. Last night we watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."
Mickey: I liked that movie, there was a lot of life in it.
What was the best part of the stay for you?
Mickey: It was good for Mia.
Esther: You see, that's what annoys me about Mickey, he never says what's good for him, always for somebody else.
Mickey: The best thing was being a helper to my mom. Significant others come and go, but parents and children are forever.
How did you enjoy the current events group?
Mickey: I like Richard the moderator. That guy David says the same stuff over and over again. He's not Jewish, and another woman in the group wanted to kick him out.
Esther: He may not be Jewish, but he has a Jewish attitude. I think Mickey likes the exchange of ideas, the disagreements. I like the way Richard handles himself, the way he can dip in into his fund of knowledge to answer question. I've also become more aware of the way different generations look at things. My generation was shaped by hard times, people were out on the street. I wonder how today's college grads will feel in 10 years.
Mickey: People in the group are very concerned about social security, medicare, Kaiser coverage. I'm not that worried.
Esther: We're more worried than the younger generation.
Mickey: You went though hard times, but more was available after the war.
Esther: Now it might not help much, having another war. We already have two.
Mickey: One thing that bothered me about the group was when they talked about the Arizona shooting. Some of them thought they should put people away if the seemed like the might be potential trouble makers But that could mean jail for a lot of gentle souls?
When will you be coming back?
Mickey: Between the 10th and the 14th, for an indefinite stay. My goals will be to help mom, and get a job. Might be going back to Costco. I hope Sasha will be able to come down here for visits.
Esther: My goals are to be more independent, to do more on the computer. To free Mickey to get a job, if that's what he want. Or maybe he'll want a volunteer job instead, or to develop a hobby.
Mickey: It's not so much that mom needs somebody here to do for her, but she needs somebody to reassure her in case something happens. Like the other day, she went to set down on her massage chair, and he accidentally sat down on the controls. She was very upset until I came in and figured out what had happened.
Esther: I enjoy having somebody to talk to. And one more thing. I've been very, very happy to see the big change in Gale. If she continues to work for me she'll do more and more, even though she may never be able to give me a shower. Now she fixes my lunch, and can help me in the bathroom. I'll still need her to wash the dishes and clean the house, but her work won't be cleaning so much as taking care of me.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Conversation with Terrye, Sunday January 16
[Terrye, like Eta, is involved in show biz. She's working on an English language technical manual for a company that manages some aspect of TV networks, like CNN or Fox News. And like Eta, she's a rush of verbal energy. She saw us online around midnight her time and decided to Skype us.]
"I'm fine, baruch ha'shem. There been a terrible flu going around, but I've been OK. And we've had a little rain recently, which is especially welcome after that big fire. It's not so much as tinderbox as it was before."
"Eta and Gidon are living in Sde Bar, about 5 minutes from Tekoah. Sde Bar means "wild field" in Hebrew, and it's a place for boys from troubled backgrounds. Gidon works there as kind of a handyman and engineer, occasionally even setting up factories. He also has a home renovation business, and hasn't had time to pursue formal studies in engineering. Gidon is always busy, always going things, it's one of the traits he and Eta share."
"Eta has already done a few films, and loves her studies. She was commuting by train from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv, and then about a month ago there was a fire on one of the passenger cars. Some soldiers shot out the windows so that the people could escape. However, it turned out that a third of all the railway cars in Israel were defective, so they had to shut down all but the most essential lines."
"Since then, Eta has had to do her commute by bus. At first it was terrible, the buses were always caught in traffic jams. But then they added car pool lanes, and now it's even faster than the train was."
"Eta is on scholarship, and one of the requirements is that she choose a volunteer work assignment from an approved list. This year she chose a home for severely retarded children and adults. Eta does office work, sometimes organizes 'soccer' games (they may not follow all the rules, but they have fun kicking the ball). It's OK, but she doesn't like working with adults as much as children. Last year she had a great volunteer job, working at an after school program for disadvantaged grade school children. That program wasn't on the approved list for her scholarship, but next year Eta hopes do do something similar, doing volunteer work with troubled teenagers."
Conversations with Esther January 10 - January 17
 |
| Picture of the week Mickey and Esther walking back up to the front door, without Esther using a walker! And this was after Esther walked all the way to the end of Hillview Dr. and back without Esther stopping to rest! |
"Looking outside its getting light earlier. That gives me more energy. I'm walking 20 laps in the morning now, one lap is a round trip between the piano room and my bathroom, both ways. And 20 laps in the evening too, and if you put them both together it's a mile, according to Mickey. Now if I could only walk to the end of the hill, that would really be an accomplishment."
[Terrye just sent email, Gidon and Eta picked May 25 as their wedding date] "That's really good news!"
Wednesday, January 12
"One of my New Year's resolutions was to do something new every day. My new thing yesterday was to walk up and down the hallway, with Mickey there with the stroller in case I'm insecure. This is the first time I can remember doing that since my surgery." [And the new thing today?]. "Don't know, maybe it will just pop into my head."
"This is the 3rd day of my chemo week, no bad reactions so far! But Mickey's going for his MRI results, for the growth on his throat. I'll let you know the results." [The growth turned out to be benign.]
Saturday, January 15
"We talked about the shooting in Arizona at the current events group, just like I expected. The congresswoman who got shot, Gifford, is half Jewish, but nobody thought that's why she got shot. They thought the shooter was a disturbed person, who did it by himself, for no rational reason. People in the group were very upset, they seemed to really be afraid there would be more shootings, and then chaos. Some said that people should be put away as soon as they show any signs that they're not right in the head."
"To me, the Arizona shooter is more threatening then Oswald. Oswald was a loner, this guy had a crowd that he was part of, that gave him support."
[What about Palin?] "A lot of people in the group think she's stupid. but I think she's either very smart, or has shrewd advisers. After each of these happenings she takes more people with her. Outrageous statements, like that thing about 'blood libel,' just attract more activists to her cause. I'm no Palin fan, but I take her seriously, whether she runs for President or not."
"Usually after the break the group talks about something different, often it's a lighter subject. This time they talked again about censorship, whether classics like "Merchant of Venice" and "Huckleberry Finn" should be edited to remove offensive language. A lot of people in the group thought that they should be."
"When Mickey was going to Las Lomas they assigned Merchant of Venice in his English class, and I called the principle and asked them not to teach it. But now, after all these years, I've changed my opinion on that topic. It's better to teach the classics as they were written, so that students will understand the context. Otherwise, the original works will have even more influence if students come on them by themselves."
Sunday, January 16
"Yesterday in Berkeley Bowl I got tired of sitting, so I got up and pushed my wheel chair through the aisles. Mickey was worried because it was so crowded, but I did fine. That was my new thing for Saturday. My new things aren't big, but I try to do one every day. And I think it was really important that I got through the entire chemo week with no bad reactions."
"Now I want to ask you something, and I want you to listen carefully because it's really important. Just because I'm getting stronger, you're not going to stop calling me, are you? You're not going to say, she's better now, she doesn't need me anymore, I've had enough?" [No.]
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Conversations with Esther, January 3 - January 9
Monday Jan. 3
Mickey says to savor each days as they come up. Many days are very good, and you can accomplish a lot. Some are much harder, but I'm glad for the struggles too, not just the good stuff. For example, I used to keep my jacket on all the time, even when it was hot, because I knew how hard it would be to put it on again. But now I just take it off when I get hot, or if it's inconvenient to what I'm doing, and then put it back on later. Same way with the cell phone. Mickey got me a new one, a little different than the one I had before because it takes headphones instead of bluetooth. But I've learned how to use it. And same with the Nano, I had problems, but I can listen to my books.
Tuesday Jan. 4
Dr. Johnson says chemo will continue for now, until I see him on Monday the 17th, when my chemo week is done.
Sleepy day yesterday, probably because I stayed up late talking with Mickey, I don't think it's good to get too tied into a schedule. Usually Mickey and I play a game, but not always. Last night we talked about when we heard the news of the major assassinations, the Kennedys, Martin Luther King. Mickey and I remember the Robert Kennedy assassination differently. I thought Mickey told me the news by the washing machine, but Mickey thinks I was sleeping. I remember they sent kids home from school and cancelled TV programs when President Kennedy was shot.
I'll get my visitor from the temple today. We just talk, sometimes about me, sometimes about her, and that makes it interesting. She doesn't have a job, but she does a lot of volunteer stuff for the temple. She says that once they know you're available, they start calling you for all sorts of stuff.
She has two sons, one at Davis, another going to school in the Mid-west. The one in the Mid-West went all the way down to the tip of South America last year, and for his summer vacation this year he's going to bicycle across the U.S., collecting money for disabled children. When I hear stuff like that, I think how wonderful it is to have the money the money to afford to do stuff like that. I don't envy people who fly off to ski resorts, but that kid seems like he has a great life.
Wednesday Jan. 5
My tongue feels much better. When I see Dr. Johnson on the 17th he'll talk to me about a lot of numbers that I won't really understand, but I'll get the general drift, improving or not.
Thursday Jan 6
Pearlita is taking the bandages off my legs tomorrow. I'm feeling much better, so I expect good news.
Tomorrow is also the current events group, and I wonder what we're going to talk about. Perhaps the Pollard case, although I don't really think there's much chance he'll be pardoned. Saw something interesting in the paper last Sunday. Uncle Sam was visiting a fortune teller, who was gazing into her crystal ball. The fortune teller said I could tell you about your future, except I can't read Chinese. They say stuff like that over and again in the current events group. But for all that, the dollar remains strong, it's still the currency of international trade.
Friday, January 7
Pearlita took of my bandages, and just like I expected my legs are much better. I don't think they're not swollen any more, I must have lost a lot of water because of the treatment
Saturday, January 8
My other visitor Denise comes today. We usually just talk, which is OK because our interests are similar. Some of our problems are the same too, like with her Nano. She works at a school for the learning disabled, teaching life skills like how to go to the store, how to clean up your kitchen. She's been doing this for 10 years, but this is her first year at that school. She has a daughter who works in the prison system, doing intake on new prisoners.
Sunday January 9
Mickey said I should go out once a day. I usually go out once a day, and we usually do. Today we're going to Target, and I'm hoping to get some self-adhesive tape to fix the curtains on the picture window in the living room. Mickey's going to get some clothes.
Yesterday for lunch all I had to do was just take out the meal Pearlita had made for me and heat it up in the microwave. But last passover, when I just got home from Tiffany Court and I was really weak, I had a craving for fried matzoh. It was a lot of work, I grated the onion & did everything else and made it for myself. I haven't cooked as much since.
Mickey says to savor each days as they come up. Many days are very good, and you can accomplish a lot. Some are much harder, but I'm glad for the struggles too, not just the good stuff. For example, I used to keep my jacket on all the time, even when it was hot, because I knew how hard it would be to put it on again. But now I just take it off when I get hot, or if it's inconvenient to what I'm doing, and then put it back on later. Same way with the cell phone. Mickey got me a new one, a little different than the one I had before because it takes headphones instead of bluetooth. But I've learned how to use it. And same with the Nano, I had problems, but I can listen to my books.
Tuesday Jan. 4
Dr. Johnson says chemo will continue for now, until I see him on Monday the 17th, when my chemo week is done.
Sleepy day yesterday, probably because I stayed up late talking with Mickey, I don't think it's good to get too tied into a schedule. Usually Mickey and I play a game, but not always. Last night we talked about when we heard the news of the major assassinations, the Kennedys, Martin Luther King. Mickey and I remember the Robert Kennedy assassination differently. I thought Mickey told me the news by the washing machine, but Mickey thinks I was sleeping. I remember they sent kids home from school and cancelled TV programs when President Kennedy was shot.
I'll get my visitor from the temple today. We just talk, sometimes about me, sometimes about her, and that makes it interesting. She doesn't have a job, but she does a lot of volunteer stuff for the temple. She says that once they know you're available, they start calling you for all sorts of stuff.
She has two sons, one at Davis, another going to school in the Mid-west. The one in the Mid-West went all the way down to the tip of South America last year, and for his summer vacation this year he's going to bicycle across the U.S., collecting money for disabled children. When I hear stuff like that, I think how wonderful it is to have the money the money to afford to do stuff like that. I don't envy people who fly off to ski resorts, but that kid seems like he has a great life.
Wednesday Jan. 5
My tongue feels much better. When I see Dr. Johnson on the 17th he'll talk to me about a lot of numbers that I won't really understand, but I'll get the general drift, improving or not.
Thursday Jan 6
Pearlita is taking the bandages off my legs tomorrow. I'm feeling much better, so I expect good news.
Tomorrow is also the current events group, and I wonder what we're going to talk about. Perhaps the Pollard case, although I don't really think there's much chance he'll be pardoned. Saw something interesting in the paper last Sunday. Uncle Sam was visiting a fortune teller, who was gazing into her crystal ball. The fortune teller said I could tell you about your future, except I can't read Chinese. They say stuff like that over and again in the current events group. But for all that, the dollar remains strong, it's still the currency of international trade.
Friday, January 7
Pearlita took of my bandages, and just like I expected my legs are much better. I don't think they're not swollen any more, I must have lost a lot of water because of the treatment
Saturday, January 8
My other visitor Denise comes today. We usually just talk, which is OK because our interests are similar. Some of our problems are the same too, like with her Nano. She works at a school for the learning disabled, teaching life skills like how to go to the store, how to clean up your kitchen. She's been doing this for 10 years, but this is her first year at that school. She has a daughter who works in the prison system, doing intake on new prisoners.
Sunday January 9
Mickey said I should go out once a day. I usually go out once a day, and we usually do. Today we're going to Target, and I'm hoping to get some self-adhesive tape to fix the curtains on the picture window in the living room. Mickey's going to get some clothes.
Yesterday for lunch all I had to do was just take out the meal Pearlita had made for me and heat it up in the microwave. But last passover, when I just got home from Tiffany Court and I was really weak, I had a craving for fried matzoh. It was a lot of work, I grated the onion & did everything else and made it for myself. I haven't cooked as much since.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Fast forward from January 2011
January
Week of January 3: Esther to consult with Dr. Johnson regarding the amyloids removed from her tongue.
Jan. 10: Esther starts a week of chemotherapy (currently, she gets chemotherapy for amyloidosis every 6 weeks).
Jan. 21: Appointment with Dr.J
Jan. 24: Mickey returns to Alaska.
February
Feb. 21: First day of chemotherapy week
April
Apr 4: First day of chemotherapy week.
May
May 16: First day of chemotherapy week.
June
June 27:
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