June News

Monday, June 14: Eta arrives from Israel, leaving for Los Angeles June 20


Eta's spending a week in Walnut Creek on her way to Los Angeles, where she'll be demonstrating/modeling cosmetics in a shopping mall.  When she returns to Israel in September she'l start college, majoring in film.  Her goal is to make news documentaries.  


Wednesday, June 16: Mickey returns to Alaska; Esther goes all the way to Kaiser in her power chair!


Mickey returned to Alaska today, but before leaving he went on another journey that was in some ways longer and more perilous.  With Mickey strolling beside her, Esther drove her power chair down Hillview Dr., then across the Knolls to San Miguel, and then through town to her appointment at Kaiser!  She hadn't even known Kaiser was in battery range.  And of course if Kaiser is within her compass, so is Safeway, and this gallant senior could conceivably do some of her own shopping again, all by herself.  Needless to say, she had no truck with false modesty when she called around to spread the joyous tidings. 

Volovick and Smith family photos, 2010

New and improved captions to come.

Unity, Hannah, and Tyler at the Walnut Knolls Recreation Center.

Becky and MacKenzie at Hillview Drive, February 2010.

More pictures from Lillian's memorial, and after

New and improved captions to come

Pallbearers 

Esther with one of Joan's balloons

Esther, Jodi, and new baby

Reception on Hillview Drive.

Dennis

Ginny

                                      Gale and Esther, 3 days later

Lillian's Memorial Service

Lillian family gathered today to remember her life, and see her casket lowered into the earth.


Rabbi Gretz conducted the service.  


At Lillian's daughter Joan's request, he paid tribute to Lillian's astrology practice, starting by comparing the dead to stars.  Just as starlight reaches our planet from faraway and long ago, the memories of those who have gone touches the living.  And he pointed out that many of the Jewish sages were interested in astrology, there's actually a whole section of the Talmud devoted to the topic.

Rabbi Gretz recounted some highlights of Lillian's life that have become obscured by the illnesses of old age.  Her relationship with Esther was the epitome of sibling devotion. As for her three children, he quoted from the psalm: "A women of valor who can find, her children will rise up to praise her."


Lillian was also extremely strong willed, which is part of the reason she could overcome childhood polio.  She cared for her husband Martin until his death.  Maybe she didn't set the world on fire, but then few of us do.  We're all mortal.  The great love she shared with each of us was a blessing.



After the casket was lowered, Rabbi Gretz made a final observation: Death is the passing of life; life is the stringing together of many small passages.

Then the service broke up, and we stood around in conversational clusters, talking and thinking about large and small transitions.  Lillian's daughter Joan, a retired postal worker enjoying a 2nd career as a professional clown and "silly person," handed out white helium filled balloons to the children.  When she gave the word, the children released them, and we watched them float up, become specks lost against the brilliant white clouds, and disappear.

Esther would like everybody to know how much she appreciated the Rabbi's
service.

Esther Remembers Lillian

Esther's sister Lillian passed way June 7, 2010, at the age of 91.  These are some memories Esther shared after hearing the news.  If you have your own memories to share, please send them to 1853WoodSt@gmail.com.

    My Arrival, and Lil's First Job 

"I was born at home, we were living over a store at the time.  Lil was just three years older than me, and she was waiting at the bottom of the steps when the doctor came down after the delivery.  He told Lil he'd left her a little doll to play with, and she rushed upstairs for her present.

"Later, when my mother Yetta was too busy, she would give Lil three cents to push me around in the stroller.  In those days that was enough for an ice cream cone."

    My First Haircut

"I didn't go to kindergarten, my first day of school was in the first grade. But I was only 5 years old, Yetta took out an insurance policy on me when I was born, and the policy said I was one year old at that time.  So when she wanted to put me in school she just showed them the policy and they let me in, they didn't ask to see a birth certificate."

"It was a scene, that first day.  Kids were crying, and standing in puddles of water that didn't come first tears.  You know, they just couldn't hold it.  That wasn't my problem, but Lil got in trouble because of my hair."

"It was long and curly, Yetta didn't want me to cut it.  But she had to open her fruit stand early, and it was Lillian's job to get me ready for school, including combing my hear.  And that took too much time, and finally the teacher told Lil if she was late again, she'd need to go to the principle's office.  She didn't know what that meant, 'the principle's office,' but it sounded scary."

"That day when we got home from school, Lil took me across the street to the barber.  It was that kind of mixed neighborhood, homes and shops, and the barber cut men and women's hair, it didn't matter. She told the barber to cut my hair, that my mom would pay latter.  The barber asked for instructions, and Lil said it didn't matter, just cut it."

"When Yetta came home we were doing homework at the kitchen table and she looked around and said "Where's Esther?"  Then when she realized, she wasn't happy, but she didn't say anything to Lil, she just want across the street to talk to the barber.  When she came back she had a shopping bag full of my curls, and she kept that bag with her always, wherever she moved.  When she passed away [over 40 years later] Lil went back to Philadelphia to go through her possessions.  And she still had it."

"For Lil, that event marked a beginning.  After that, she felt more able to make her own decisions.  In fact, all through her childhood, and after, she was known as a force to be reckoned with.  She had her own ideas about how things should be, and she would tell you about them, and most of the time she got her way."

    Marty

"At that time in Philadelphia, girls of the same age would give parties.  Girls would bring their boy friends, there's be other boys there too, and everyone would dance to phonograph records.  One night Lil went across town to go to a party, further for a party than she usually went.  Marty had come with another girl, but when he saw Lil he forgot about his date, and asked Lil if he could escort her home.  Lil said no, you came with another date, take her home first.  And so he did, then came back for Lil, and escorted her home too"

"After that first meeting, they started to go steady.  But Yetta never asked to be introduced, probably because she assumed he was a gentile based on his appearance."

"One of Lil's jobs when she was a teenager was to bring Yetta supper at her push-cart, or shop, or whatever, when she was working late. One night Marty took her to drop off the food, and the Pickle Man, who worked next to Yetta, said 'You didn't tell me your daughter was going our with the Cantor's son.'  So he was Jewish after all!  Yetta asked Lil to bring him over that next Sunday for dinner."

"As a special meal, Yetta prepared tuna.  The fact that he ate it proves how much he loved her, because she found out after they got married that he really hated fish.  I think it had something to do with some experience he had in the Gerard's Boy's Home -- his mother had died, and his father [Yessel] was known as the blind cantor, so he grew up in a Home."

"They got married at the local synagogue.  I remember making sandwiches and lemonade.  It wasn't like now, where you'd just buy a case of soft drinks.  To tell you the truth, I don't remember the wedding cake, although I'm sure there must have been one."

    California

"Marty was stationed in California during WWII, and liked the climate.  He couldn't find work back east after the war -- that's surprising, thinking back on what was happening then, so many people starting families and building houses -- so he decided to try his luck out west. He convinced my brother Elmer to go with him, but Elmer didn't like it and came back.  Marty got at job making cars [as a machinist], and stayed."

"From what Marty told her when he sent for her, Lil thought Marty had an apartment for them to live in.  But it turned out to be more like a motel room.  And that got her angry, which meant things had to change.  One day when Lil was in line at the grocery store, the woman in front of her said to the checker 'This is the last time I'm coming in here, we're moving tomorrow.'  So she went with the woman back to her apartment, so she could get rent it before it was advertised.  And that's how they got out of the motel, when and where was entirely Lil's decision.  That's how things were done in her family."

"It was only after Charlie and I moved to California that Lil and I become close. That is, in high school we had different interests, I went to Girl's High, the academic school.  And really we had different temperaments.

[As opposed to being a 'force to be reckoned with,' Esther was often a force that finds its quiet way around obstacles.  She says as a girl her guiding precept was 'The world is round,' meaning there's more than one way to reach your goal, there's more than one way to skin a cat.  She sometimes tells this story to illustrate part of their differences.

One day in Whittier, after Lil had hung up all the clothes on the line, the weather got windy and the clothes line blew over. Lil didn't feel like getting involved in a laundry mess, so she left the house, knowing then when Marty got home he would redo the laundry, thinking that he was responsible, and that Lil wouldn't blame it him when she got back if the clothes weren't clean and dry.  In the same situation, Esther would redo the laundry herself.  Charlie was often away travelling, and even when he was home, the laundry was her job.]

    Joan

"Barry was born first, then Dennis, then Joan, the girl the whole family was hoping for.  When Lil was pregnant that third time, the boys both said they wanted a sister, they already had a brother. Then when Joan was born, they knocked on their neighbors doors saying 'We have a sister, we have a sister!'  Maybe neighbors were closer back then."

"Lil wanted a little girl in frilly dresses, someone she could make all the decisions for.  But she got somebody like herself, someone who wanted to make her own decisions, also a force to be reckoned with.  Joan rebelled in high school, when to 3 different schools in one year.  But in some ways she always remained the girl Lil was hoping for.  In those last years at Lafayette Convalescent Hospital, when Joan and I visited, even when Lil was too sick to talk, and she was used to seeing me, her eyes would follow Joan around the room."

Window on the World -- June 2010 at the JCC Current Events Group

Friday, June 4
Attack on the Flotilla


"It was a small group this time, and they seemed very disturbed about the news.  But of course we talked about it.   The group said it had to be looked into.  Israel may have reacted as expected, not knowing what was on the boat.  It may have been right, but not smart.  Just not smart.  But when they look into it more, maybe something will show up that's not there now."


"I don't know what you would call it.  They sided with Israel, but they were sad.  One loud mouth in the group said Israel should have consulted with America before doing anything.  That annoyed everybody.  And how did he know Israel didn't consult? Maybe it was acting as our cat's paw.  But there were some U.S. citizens on the flotilla.  It's difficult to come to grips with.  I heard there were suicide bombers on the boat too. [Going to Gaza?] I guess it's possible."


"I talked to the moderator Richard during intermission.  He said a few years ago, the list of Israel's three strongest allies, would have been America, Turkey, and Germany.  And now Turkey's off the list.  Not really because of the attack, they became unfriendly after they elected an Islamic government."


"J magazine came in the mail, the magazine for the Jewish community published in San Francisco.  They always have a pro and con page in every issue, and this time it was about the flotilla.  It seemed to say the same things as the current events group, I'd better read it carefully so I'll be prepared for next time.   [Want more links to news articles?] If they shed new light on things."


"When I got back Gale asked me when we'd talked about, and I told her, she hadn't heard about the attack.  It's the first I remember her taking an interest in what I'm doing.  She did a beautiful job cleaning up my desk, she couldn't have done it with her eyes closed. She's getting something from working for me too."


"There is one things that concerns me about her though, it's that she's always so thirsty.  That could be a sign of diabetes.  Gale didn't want me to mention it her psychiatrist, Dr. Bernstein, but I think I'm going to anyway."





   

Fast forward June 2010

June

The center Gale is closed Mondays and Fridays for remodeling, and Gale will be coming to help Esther on at least one of those days, in addition to her usual Sundays.  And Esther really appreciates the help, and has remarked on more than one occasion on what a good job Gale is doing.

June 21: First day of Esther's every-6-weeks chemotherapy cycle.

August

August 2:  First day of Esther's every-6-weeks chemotherapy cycle.

September

September 13:  First day of Esther's every-6-weeks chemotherapy cycle.

October 

October 25:  First day of Esther's every-6-weeks chemotherapy cycle.

December 

October 25:  First day of Esther's every-6-weeks chemotherapy cycle.